hmm.. paper for yesterday was alright.. could do it.. and check it a few times.. will pass.. that's definate.. as for result.. should be ok.. yup.. went home and couldnt start studying.. gotta get people to scold me.. hmm.. but.. well.. started studying around 11+ and i really studied.. i study all the way till 3++.. decided to sleep and continue today.. yup.. went to school around 930 and study.. yes.. i studied.. i was whining though.. but i really did study.. putting effort to study.. i even prayed to God.. but i dont know what got over me.. i got so stressed up when its 130.. and when i was outside the classrooms.. classmates say they see me they stress cause i so smart.. like.. what rubbish.. doing well for class test dont mean anything.. moroever that paper only consisted of 2 chaps.. and are small chaps.. sigh.. went into the examination hall.. totally screwed.. multiple choice was alright.. case study i freaked out.. its easy.. really.. trust me.. but i couldnt get the answers.. what can i do? sigh.. i never feel so useless before.. i mean.. arRrgGg.. i dont know how to explain..its like.. you know.. throughout the paper.. i practically stared blankly into the space lor.. there was one point in time i just feel like handing up and go out.. i couldnt take it anymore.. and i decided to talk to God.. i told God i dont know why i black out.. and i need him now.. it did calm me down a little.. sigh.. but silly me.. i teared.. i dont know why.. i just feel so disappointed with myself.. i dont even feel this way when i was doing my hist paper.. i dont know i dont know.. i just feel horrible.. all i can do is just lift it up to God.. and i gotta really learn to cast my anxieties onto him.. hmm.. alicia liping xiuwen and xueyun were kindda consoling me larx.. buyt.. sigh.. even sijia pohchin and farissa and gladys.. but.. i just couldnt stop thinking why i black out.. hmm.. pohchin did some action that really made me laugh.. hah.. was kindda hungry and so alicia and xiuwen accompany me to eat.. went to tampines mall to eat.. on the way there saw sam.. arrRggG.. i miss him. so long never see him already.. ya.. talk talk abit.. hmmm.. anyhow.. went to tampines mall.. saw arcade.. haha.. decided to go and play after our meal.. yup.. went pasta mania to eat.. feel so full.. we talk lots of rubbish.. and alicia bought wine.. its 3.90 only.. haha.. but seriously.. the wine sucks.. i dont really like dry wine that's why.. haha..liping got a shocked when i replied her saying i am drinking wine.. haha.. anyhow.. after that we went to play the table hockey.. haha.. played 3 rounds.. its super funny.. i couldnt stop myself from laughing and i practically sat there and laugh.. alicia and xiuwen all cheat one.. haha.. after that... wanted to play daytona.. but xiuwen refuses.. so we played house of the dead.. haha.. alicia's expression funny.. and xiuwen just sat there and laugh at the 2 of us.. haha.. so fun.. hmm.. maybe because all of us at the same frequency.. haha.. i enjoy my time with them alot today.. so fun.. haha.. i cannot find anyone to do that with me anymore.. and i like to do that.. but.. i will most probably be labelled childish or something for going arcade.. haha.. its like.. its impossible to do some stuff with some people.. it just make me wonder am i in the same frequency with them.. haha.. shant name names.. yup.. alicia and xiuwen cheered me up alot.. but i still feel a little down.. but what can i do? i lift it up to God.. hmmm.. and lee was trying to cheer me up too.. love her to bits.. hah..