sigh.. backing off from you? a good or bad idea? i don't know which will help you.. why don't you want to seek God.. why do you want to use your own strength to fight this? its gonna be really really tough.. because you cant use your own power to resist what Satan has injected in you.. why in the world are there so many people like you.. its not about hormonal changes bla bla bla.. its SATAN.. wake up.. i feel so bad that i'm the one that causes you to be in this state.. backing off is what i should do.. but i'm not doing it.. it aint gonna do you good will it? sigh.. i pray and i pray that you will reject all these thoughts in the name of jesus.. don't ever live in denial.. if you seek God.. you will really realise that that is true love.. not what you had been through.. its never about feeling strong for that person.. it never was.. you were meant to be the way God want you to be.. not what you are now.. and.. don't blame yourself.. don't hate yourself.. because its not you.. you showed me and prove to me that you did not want this to happen.. we humans are weak.. we are living in Satan's world.. what can we do to resist all these.. and that is through christ.. why dont you want to seek him.. why why why.. i want to help.. but i guess i will only cause you to fall deeper.. you said your hand is tired from holding on.. your hand is slipping off.. so why dont you cling on to God.. why cling on alone... you are never alone.. do you know that... though i do not feel so much for you in friendship.. but that doesnt mean i dont treat you as a friend.. have you really been happy? you claim your faith is strong.. then why all these rubbish.. sigh.. all i can do is pray for you and pray and pray and pray i guess.. i guess that is the only way..
you are never walking alone in darkness.. because i will be by your side.. to bring you out to the light.. where you will never ever wanna see the darkness again.. but i dont think i should be there.. and so.. i wil pray for someone to be there for you in the darkness to help lead you out into the light.. God's light will shine ever so brightly for you.. trust me.. i believe that all these will pass.. and it will never come back again..