have been blogging like nobody's business i see.. i dont know.. there just seem to be or rather i just seem to have too many thoughts that i want to pen it down here.. the reason i blog is because i need an outlet to let my thoughts and feeling flow since i cant let most of my thoughts and feelings known to people easily.. and its only through the blog will i get to know myself better.. there's the angelic me.. and the devilish me.. its scary to know that a devil is living within you.. there's a battle occuring at this very point of time.. God is definitely winning.. because everything was won on the cross.. i will only lose this battle to the devil if i open the gate.. sigh.. sometimes i dont know what i am thinking and stuff.. it just seem as if i've lost myself... i get angry at the slightest thing.. the devilish me is emerging.. so scary.. where's the angelic me i wonder.. how do i get it back.. sigh.. besides this battle going on.. i have also lost my drive for my studies.. its like take now for an example... i should be studying.. or at the very least doing some work.. but i'm not.. there's so many things yet i dont know where to start... am running low... what a song to come now.. "you raise me up".. is God reminding me something? you raise me so i can stand on mountain you raise me up so i can walk on stormy seas so i am strong when i am on your shoulders i guess i really need God... sigh.. i need to get rid of the devilish amanda.. and get back up on track.. who will guide me.. and help me..