Thursday, March 17, 2005 have started reading the book of corinthians.. and its kind of an answer to my questions to benny hinn's ministry.. my view of city harvest.. seventh adventist.. why is the church divided among themselves.. shouldnt we be united as one? why the major difference? why the comments of bringing people down.. dont we realise we arent suppose to judge.. so why judge..? well.. i'm too am guilty of judging people.. but then again.. who dont judge? is christianity that difficult to understand? there're lots of things i dont understand.. its gonna take me ages to clear my doubts.. i wonder.. is God@heaven.com really in existence? i do understand that things wont always go our way.. and i'm not desperate for anything yet... but just thought of something weird.. why do people always think they suffered alot?? why?? haha.. then i should say i suffer LOTS more.. with people around me dying.. come on.. a 16 year old having her friend die.. one year later another friend.. how much can one handle? i claim that my parents dont understand me.. i claim that my sister dont love me.. dont care about me..and.. i'm always giving in to people.. dont have a mind of my own.. getting bullied here and there.. wow.. looks like i've been through alot... so why am i still living as per normal.. i should have committed suicide... hmm.. for a start.. i'm a coward.. and so i dont dare to commit suicide.. (but.. it takes greater courage to stay alive) and next.. if my both of my friend.. by staying alive.. they suffer more.. why not die and be up there with God?? of cause its hard to let go.. but knowing that they're with God is indeed the greatest consolation ever.. my parents dont understand me??.. like hey.. do i even understand my parents? my sister dont love me dont bother me.. hey.. have i even done my job as a sister.. haha.. but of cause i do love my parents and sister loads now.. its just taking example of my life.. lastly.. i think i am irritating people around me instead without having a mind of my own!! aiya.. do you get what i mean.. its like a coin.. there's 2 side to it.. when you're in a situation you only see one side.. but there's another side too.. take a peak at the positive.. moreover.. you are not suffering at all.. compare yourself to the africans.. they dont even have proper meal to fill their tummy.. but they're living a more carefree life.. i guess... its just human to be greedy.. we wont ever wanna compare ourselves to the people of lower standard.. we just want to be first.. that's human.. pretty scary world we're living huh.. life is really short.. why not live it well?? so what if this world we're about to face is scary.. God has conquer it all on the cross.. there's nothing we should we could and we can fear.. live a life that bring the greatest glory to him.. i bet if joel reads this he will say its tough for human to do.. but hey.. 1 peter 5:7 says.. cast all your anxieties onto the lord for he cares... the only reason we do not cast it to the lord is because of pride.. thinking we're all so mighty.. to be able to handle the problems ourselves.. but hey.. we're so wrong.. its actually easy to let go if we havent mind our "face" so much.. havent hold our pride so tightly.. dont complain God is not responding.. be PATIENT.. patience is a kind of pride that not many of us have.. so tell me.. do you have this kind of pride? yet again.. i guess its only human to make simple things like letting go.. a complicated one... what can i say but.. humans.. of cause.. this is in no reference to whosoever.. because i'm guilty too of not letting go.. i would say i havent learn the skill of letting go.. letting go of trouble problem etc etc.. but pray and pray.. always remember to pray.. God will transform each and every one of us.. and when the day comes that everyone proclaim HIS name together.. that's when the second coming of jesus is.. are we prepared? it's exciting yet scary.. what if i never get to see my loved ones ever again... i guess.. this month's topic have more or less been circulating the topic on.. are my loved ones saved.. but before anything.. are you saved?? wanna know more about what i'm talking if you dont understand.. just tag.. of cause you can treat this as junk.. but its a new revelation God given me.. looking at the positive side is tough.. but with Him.. all things are indeed possible.. so will you wanna live this life filled with purpose? He blessed me at 2:19 AM |