A teacher affects eternity;he can never tell where his influence stops- Henry Adams teachers, i guessed i'm very blessed to have many wonderful committed teachers in my life. to help me up, to guide me along. Teacher, indeed its a marvellous job. i guess all teachers just want to be a light to students who are lost. Be it in the knowledge they are passing down or just their life. i do admire my teachers for their committment towards teaching me and guiding me. even until now, after graduating from secondary sch, my teachers are still around to teach me, guide me and even lend me a listening ear.
teachers not necessary meant the career. my friends are somehow my teachers too. when they learn from their mistakes, i learn from their mistakes too. and i do thank god for placing these people in my life to guide me. sometimes when we lose grip, these are the people who will grab hold of you. all in all to ensure that you won't fall. through the silences we have, there is the known existance that we meant something to each other.
i long for long chats with friends. i long to meet up with all my wonderful friends. but, time, work, commitment, they doesnt allow the luxury of meeting up with my wonderful friends much. so many of a time, i'm alone. i learn to find comfort that i have a God up there. but i always have to make this concious effort to remind myself that i have God. i shouldnt be feeling lonely. like what one of my teacher said today. when we received christ, our spirit is saved. but our soul is not renewed yet. and our soul consist of our emotions. would you agree that emotions is our greatest hurdle to cross?
sometimes i do find myself thinking too much. resulting to brooding. that's not very healthy. brooding does lead to imagining things that is not real. just take for example, when you talk to someone, and their replies are always short. brooding will result in, i dont think this person like to talk to me. maybe this person dislike me. and it will make you feel inferior. haha. sadly, i din manage to escape this. i do feel inferior in many things. in my language, in my character, in my academy related stuffs, in my sports, in my beliefs, in my values etc etc. it doesnt really help when you have such a smart sis. haha. i guess most people with siblings will not escape the comparisons made by our parents which is of cause done unconciously.
my sis is offered an interview for medicine. praise the lord. but, of cause, i do feel inferior. my sis, she's good in everything.(except technology). there's no way i can compete with her. the only thing that comforted me was that for my O levels, my full history was only 1 grade lower than hers. haha. nothing else. i'm taking a diploma which many people can obviously take up. but my sis, she's being offered law by many universities in european countries. she's being offered scholarships. sure i'm proud of her. but i feel sad as to why i cant be of that calibre. yes, i do know that we are created with different talents. i'm just stating some thinking that its hard to avoid. especially i'm having my holidays now with lots of free time.
overall, i'm leading a happy life. though there are times i will be drifting out there, in and out of sadness of fear. but, that's in the minority. still, praise the lord for everything.