hmm. ya, am listening to potter's hands now and i did some blog surfing. haha. its been ages since something worth blogging came to my mind. so i thought why not blog it down. haha. my day is good so far. have started packing my luggage for my europe trip(the supposed much anticpated one). haha. dont think i'm of much help to my parents for now so i decided to blog surf.
came across my cousin's blog. well, not exactly came across, rather i visited my cousin's blog. both of them arent feeling happy.and i thought about life. yes, a topic that can go on forever. for me, i like life how it is now. without worries, without much fluctuations of emotions. its a dreadful thing to be feeling sad, angry, unhappy and the list goes on. and when we are happy, elated etc, we take for granted this is what we have. so, when we face with a tiny little misunderstanding with people, its as if the world has gone against us. we blame everything, everyone but never ourselves for why things turn out this way. of cause, its easy for me to say this now, because i aint feeling much emotions now. haha.
this world we live in aint pure. its filled with lots of hidden agenda. we slog our lives day and night, hoping for a better life. but what for? we aint feeling happy are we? given much serious thoughts, i'm willing to give up everything i have here, to live a simple and yet happy and satisfying life. this world we live in, cause us to be blinded by greed. everything people work for now is because of this few words. greed, lust, er, cant think of any other words now. haha. what is your ultimate motive living on this earth? as a believer and always a believer, i would say my ultimate motive is to live my life for God, pleasing to Him, bringing people into His kingdom. isnt it of much prove already that He is a living God? bible, a literature? really?
this life, is indeed given by a higher being. and i really gotta thank God and praise Him that i'm being born in a christian family. i do not have to face the trials of many people whose family members who arent christian. i'm really fortunate in many ways. ways which i can never imagine. but what am i doing, complaining about my life? i'm so silly. i guess, i was blinded too. i've been feeling really burdened to pray for the lost. my heart aches once in awhile, and i can clearly say, i felt God's pain through that very minimum heart ache i had.
you know, sometimes i do imagine myself as a non-believer. maybe i wouldnt be who i am now. seeing my friends fall in love and sometimes out of love so easily, i too actually at times, feel like giving this feeling a try, a chance. i do not lack of love, but as a normal growing teenager, i do feel like trying. but, i reject time and time again. my friends question why. they say i think too much. but have i been thinking too much. we are so young, so young till sometimes we cant even think for ourselves, dont even know how to love the people who are closest to us, and yet try to love someone else? what a joke. no. i do not have something against going into a relationship. but i guess, different people are being brought up differently. i watched this hong kong drama and this person said."some people place obligations, responsibilities, family and everything else first, some people place love and relationship first.." how true. i guess, i place obligations, responsibilities, family and God first. because afterall, going into a relationship isnt really involving just 2 person. of cause, different people have different thinking. this just happens to be mine.
my friends too say that i'm too nice. but is it a negative or positive plus point? why do we have to think more when we grow up? how i miss being a child, a baby, when everything then was really that pure innocent. the squabbles you have with your sibling, too was with a tinge of innocence. i do not look forward to go out into the working society. not only because of the uncertainties, but because of the lost of time. i do not want to give in to satan's flawless plan of taking time away. but we still need to look forward and work through it, we cant run away from it. can we?
this entry are just thoughts here and there. not really a good one. i will bid farewell in my next entry. hopefully. haha.