Every successful man i have heard has done the best he could with condition as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
when all i wanted was never to go through what i'm going through now. alright. maybe this is just an immediate conclusion. but i'm really tired and drained of this lifestyle. i think as compared to the people in africa of whatever, i'm living a definitely much better life. but, i still see no point in travelling to sentosa to study when i can jolly well do so in my wonderful campus in tampines. oh well.
i've managed to do lots of things i never expected doing. i definitely spent much more cash in going to sch. and really, for the first time, i feel so mentally and physically drained and tired. not the normal kind, but the extreme kind. maybe i really get a nice view of the merlion*rolls eyes* and i have siloso beach at the backyard of the sch(its blocked due to construction) so i should really appreciate. but, i really dont fancy this. just give me back the simple way. or maybe the industry i might enter is like this? i really dont know.
anyway, on a lighter note, i cooked today! yay! it was really quite stressing with the teachers and chefs around. not wanting to make an mistakes. but today, screw ups are really alot. thank God we overcome all this rubbish. and manage to whip up some nice looking food, which actually taste not that bad. had class meeting after we were dismissed for our theme week. concentrating on italian cuisine. and yeah, i've done my part of research. quite effective and efficient huh. but only 3 recipes. haha. i feel rather accomplished too as i've completed my accounts tutorial in no more than 45mins. which is cool. i solve the qns so easily. i'm happy.
but, i dont know what's really bothering me. i dont feel good. i feel lousy, not that i'm lousy, but i have a lousy feeling about everything. of cause, there are people who can make me smile, but it seems really temporary. my mind is often all over the place when i end class. i feel blank and lost. but what exactly is the root? how i wish you can tell me. but apparently, i think i'm too childish or whatever it is for you to try to even think of me. whatever larx. all the negative thoughts.
its gonna be 12 soon. i probably should read up on basic entrepreneurship before i turn in. but before i do so...
dear lord. your grace and mercy is ever so wonderful and your love never fails. though i'm feeling lost, i've yet to seek help from you. and i wonder why. but oh lord, forgive me for going through all these. i'm just glad to continue seeing the people around me growing strong, cause it definitely adds on some encouragement to me. and at this point oh lord, i just pray that you will watch over the mission trippers over in thailand and cambodia. that nothing can hurt them or whatsoever, be it spiritually, mentally and physically. keep them safe father lord, and let their ears be sensitive to your voice and their heart be sensitive to your burdens. break down the barriers they might face in communicating in any ways. and of cause lord, give them the joy to enjoy every single moment of doing your work. i praise you with the great love of the father son and holy spirit. keep those who are in singapore safe too. in jesus most mighty name, amen!