just finished watching water boys. and i'm so reminded of sch days. not that i'm not schooling. but i'm considered tertiary. so its system is like university kind of system. and i sometimes really feel out of touch to the society, the civilisation. i seriously miss the life of a sec sch student. so what if i'm wearing sch uniform everyday? at least i dont need to crack my brain as to what to wear to sch, and so, i will get to avoid the fashion show i see everyday in sch. there's alot to study, but you know that your teacher is always there. there's alot of project, but at least you know when people are not contributing you can find who. sigh. the differences.
hey hey wait a minute. i just tag on one of my friend's blog something about humans always thinking the negative. and yea, this is the BIG problem of human. we contradict, we procrastinate, we dwell on the past and stay dwelling for long. we can never get ourselves into present time. i'm not saying that my poly life is really that sucky. i do enjoy sometimes. but the amount of stress. it doesnt just stop there at your sch work, and projects. it goes so much into how people look at you through your dressing, your behaviour. i dont feel anyone is real anymore. everyone seem so fake to me. they are dressing for the world to see. they are behaving for the world. no one is living for themselves anymore. no one is living for God anymore. where's the purity and innocence of a person? where's the fun and happiness of a person? conformities is the word to describe everything.
i seem to be totally judging the world. but there's a thin line between commenting and judging. for now, i dont know where i lie. i had enough of putting on a fake front. note. its not brave, but fake. because you are not being real! what has the world come to?
i found that the only time i feel alive is when i'm reading the word, when i'm with God, when it comes to the weekend. every morning i wake up, i dread everything i gotta face. i'm utterly disappointed and feel disgusted about the world. why must there be doubts? why must there be judgement between each other? note. i'm guilty of the above too. sigh. humans arent like that by nature. the world, the world, the devil has turned everything to his advantage. i see a light, but the opening is so small. something need to be done here. rise up people. bring the earth back to LIFE once again.
i keeping myself up for this moment. i need to be still. i need to be healed. i need to know that i'm loved. i need to know that everything is alright. are you there for me? will you always be there? shower me with your love. i need it. i need it in abundance.