i had the worst nightmare yesterday. i dreamt of something similar to my friend's dream a few days back. I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks. I was having very random dreams involving so many people but letting the scariest things happened.
its obvious the devil is intriguing all these.
i basically wasted my day away not doing anything. and my thumb is quite useless. rather, i'm quite useless. i cant write much. because when i write i depend alot on my thumb. ahh. sucha wimp.
having very random thoughts. like no one to depend on for my sch. its like, i just tag along. but when we converse i cant agree with so many of them. i dont know. poly life seem good initially. but it isnt recently. i'm having difficulties surviving all these nonsense. like what dealing with office and corporate politics, creating a place where people can get away from the busy-ness and find peace and serene. cooking in the environment where the chefs just scream at you non-stop. i dont know. my course is fun larx. but, i dont seem to be in a very godly place. i feel everyone around me kindda fake at times. like, you know, not happy with this person but pretend pretend. ah. it can definitely drive me crazy.
i guess i've been very silly. everyone is like after their goals. but i seem goal-less. i'm just moving wherever people wants me to. i dont know. i feel so off sometimes. i feel like i'm always in the wrong group of people. there's no sense of belonging. haha.
haiya. i have God. i have Jesus. i have the holy spirit. i have the TRINITY BROTHERS. who can be against me? ans- the world. haha. but i will win the war. just like how my mum won the war against that gigantic lizard yesterday. i can never be lonely can i? haha.
i'm tired of all the rules and regulations laid before me by the world. what i am supposed to do. what i'm ought to do. i just want to live a life plan specially for me by Him. i know, to get to it, i will go through pains, rejections and everything. but, i'm prepared to face the music with HIM.
You caused me to experience many troubles and misfortunes, but you will revive me again. You will bring me up again, even from the depths of the earth.- Ps 71:20