everything seem perfect but was for awhile. really short while. it seem like a bubble dream. with one "poke" all was gone. snapped back to reality. so many incompleted work. so many thing due. i'm like being thrown into the deepest end of the ocean, struggling just to survive. the worst thing, i depended on my strength for some part. dumb me.
yes. i'm still up at this time. just taking a slight break before going back to my work. i'm running in this race, and i cant give up. opportunity cost is too much for me to handle. i don't seem to know how to depend on Him when i'm stress with my work. it was like that then and it's still like that now. i need to learn to trust and depend.
i'm quite fed up. seriously. like nothing is progressing. every meeting we had wasnt fruitful. deadlines are piling up now. i feel the stress and the need for some urgency. but some, still take their own sweet time. i'm getting short tempered about projects. and most of the time, the innocent ones get from me. not that i've actually flare up yet. like what can they do if i flare up right. it still ends up with the same group of people doing everything. perhaps i've set my standards high, but. arRRgGg.i just needed to rant abit.
whoever chooses to talk to me at this crucial point must have taken out lots of courage. i'm like a timed bomb. high time i learn to give it up and submit. where's all my thinking on submission? sigh, i got to go back and do some work again. which means i prob left with like 2hrs of sleep? nap rather. let's see how far i can go like that.
when i dream about you, that's when everything's alright. when i dream about you, you'll never go away. just close my eyes and wait for my dreams, cause i still love you.
i probably din know how much you mean to me. only discover it when i hurt you again and again, and when that story hit me hard. "we keep sinning, but God just keeps forgiving" i almost cried when i saw that sentence.
i love you. i really do. tell me, teach me, what to do, where do i go next? i'm just a lost sheep. needing the right direction.