knowing that all that you've done or said are really not forgiveable, but you're still being forgiven, how will you feel? it's only human to try to run away isn't it.
i saw this scene when my eyes was closed. a group of people worshipping him. they were singing out with all their hearts and soul, just like what he deserves and more. whereas i was standing behind the crowd, stepping back as i notice them worshipping him. then i saw him, excusing himself out of the crowd, walking towards me and offering me a hand. it's as if he's telling me, come with me, dont go, you're welcome here. tears was welling up in my eyes. have i chosen to walk away when i should stay?
i don't know, there's much fluctuations of emotions within me now. maybe the projects are really getting into me. everyone around me feels that i'm doing last minute work, that's why. perhaps i am. but, cant you see, i'm busy and stressed enough to actually get enough rest, much less hearing the lectures and explain when no one will understand. Ah. so that's why i choose to walk away.
you know, i dont feel good. everything around me now doesn't allow me to feel good. the mess on my table, the mess in my projects, the mess in everyone's thinking and emotions. arRrgGg. i'm going crazy for the wrong reasons.
i had a chat with God earlier on in church. and all i have to say, i am the sheep who has gone astray. looking for a place to fit in. throw myself into the mess i've created. i've lost myself in the projects haven't i? i yearn for a good time spent with Him. but i'm giving so much excuses. i hurt Him so much during the week. but, he still stays around. he further reassure me in church today. but, why do i stay away?
i miss you. i really miss you. can you feel it? i want the past to re-live. i want to spend long hours with you. not just meeting you during the weekends and go our separate ways. i miss you. i really miss you. can you hear me calling out? i want to feel the joy you have, i want you to not be sad. i miss you. i really do.
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you.
you're not gone, but why do i feel the distance? have i created the barrier. take it away, cause i really miss you.