i'm having a very horrible backache, and i wonder why. its at the lower part of my back and the ache is almost unbearable. ahhhh. i could just jump off the building just to ease the pain. but well, my little cell always go- NEVER SAY DIE. so well, i have to bear with the pain. haha.
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and so, let's talk about GOD. i was preparing for my cell material earlier on in the day. but before doing so, i was looking through some webby regarding some christian stuff and 2 words that the writer wrote hit me. submission and obedience. so when i was reading the cell material, the whole passage allowed me to conclude 2 words. submission and obedience. funny how we always know the existence of this 2 word, but still fail to follow. or maybe, we dont exactly understand the meaning of the word.
submission: The act of submitting to the power of another: “Oppression that cannot be overcome does not give rise to revolt but to submission”
so what is submit? -To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.
obedience: The quality or condition of being obedient.
so what is obedient? -Dutifully complying with the commands, orders, or instructions of one in authority.
i guess its hard to submit and obey. Because we're creatures who are prideful. funny how we always claim to be humble when we're actually not. perhaps some REAL reflection of life is good. i've always been pacing up and down between the "safety" region and the "danger" region. "danger" as in committing sins. once awhile, i fell, and its to the the extreme bottom and receive my painful "thud". each time i run back, His love was never lesser. and i question myself am i worthy? haha. i'm definitely not worthy of his love, grace and mercy. like who on earth deserves it. HOWEVER, its his gift for us. the moment we confess with our mouth that He's our Lord and Saviour, he gave us the gift of eternal life. Whatever sins that's bad, whatever pain, whatever persecution, whatever sickness and diseases, he bear it all. That's why God "forsake" Jesus at that point in time when he's hanging on the cross. Because the world's sin was upon Jesus.
AHHHH. unbelievable. but, i've learnt to believe. committing a sin always send the feeling of guilt. why? mainly because SATAN is playing a trick and because you know deep down in you, you've hurt someone who loves you so much. -sigh- running back is never easy, however if you choose to loiter outside the "safety" region, its gonna be of no use isnt it? well, we've got to remember one thing, and i definitely have to remember this.- die to yourself.
i need to attend my own funeral. let the old be GONE, so the NEW(God) can come.
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hmmm. i just bought a very cool shirt, and i just LOVE it. my sis bought one too, different design of course. and its just cool cool cool. love it.
i'm gonna die to myself!!! today, this fateful day- 24sept. amanda heng, died to self! ________________________