paper today was horrible. but i seriously thank God for bringing me through. besides that, i think my day isnt that bad? just that i havent started studying for today. GREAT. i wasted one whole day just slacking, behaving as if exams are over and done with. haha.
hmmm, dont you realise that as you grow older, the chances of you being happy is so much lesser? i dont know. but just realised that as people grow older, they take comments and stuffs more personal and of course, the whole thinking process begins. i like kids. they're simple and just innocent. even the naughtiest things they ever done, they have no intention of harming anyone i believe. but grown ups, they fight for status, for recognition, for power, for money. ahh. the whole grown ups thinking is like utterly disgusting. everyday go to work with masks on, plots to make use of people to climb up the highest level. goodness. can you believe it, this is the world we're living in.
the world is such a deadly place to be in. and i really thank God for kids. kids, they neutralise the whole environment. as in, really they do. they give you this hope in life. you know, i was watching baby blue on channel 8 earlier on and i watch how xinyi(the little girl) crying out loud to her mum and dad because she doesnt want to go through chemo, she cant stand the pain. that scene sends thousands of swords piercing through my heart. the impact a small kid going through pains and the impact of an adult going through pains are different. as in, of course i will be sad larx, but not to the extent of what i felt earlier on. kids just brings this smile to my face. and you know, i dont want to grow up. i want to be a kid, where i get the attention, where doing wrong is always never a mistake, where you can just run into the arms of your mummy and daddy and just snuggle up and stuff. i want to be innocent and simple and pure, just like a child. i want to be childlike.
you know, i type so much and i was looking back/thinking back, why in the world did i want to grow up and have freedom. when the real freedom i actually have was when i was a kid. freedom to express my emotions. when now, its all gone. perceptions perceptions, all these kills. oh well, i'm not sad or anything. was just thinking. =)
anyway, lots of people getting fever and dengue cases are rising. so people, take care and drink lots of water and rest well ar... for those who are sick, God grant you speedy recovery! especially you. byebye. i need to study. =)