you know, i realise my holidays are spent like thinking of alot of things. i mean, since i'm not studying now neither am i working, i shouldnt like let my brain cells die, so i think right? haha. nah. just kidding. i believe that there always comes a time in your life where you have to think through the things you've done and will be doing, reflect upon your values and beliefs.
during my web surfing and blog surfing, i chance upon one of the churchies blog. it was talking about BGR. his views and opinions. i thought it was really interesting. but i guess, it applies for all relationships. how you manage to allow your relationship to be long lasting. identity in each other. how true. look at our relationship with God. you know, you realise those christians who have actually backslided, its partially due to the fact they do not know who they are in God's eyes. they din build that relationship with God. it's never about religion, it's about relationship. how can we understand God's purpose for us. when we understand that, nothing is meaningless, because everything is part of the process of bringing us to fulfil God's purpose in our lives.
now, for relationships. i bet the whole world who know me will know my opinion towards love in BGR is very different? i'm always puzzled by the fact that why people around me yearn so much for those kind of relationship, when firstly, both parties arent mature enough to handle it. alot of my friends always tell me, "..amanda, you've never been in a relationship. you dont know how much it can drive you crazy. just seeing his/her smile makes me happy.." or something along the line, the sweetness you get bla bla bla. but i'm sorry to say, all i saw was how bruised and battered your hearts got itself. and i question myself, why go through all these when it isn't necessary? many feels that my opinions towards a BGR is very negative, but i ask you, who dont want to be pampered and stuff, and have someone by your side at all times? it's just time you know. and you got to know how much you can commit. your bf or gf at this point of time will only turn out to be your liability because both of you dont have the capabilities to handle the emotional aspects and the material aspects(maybe). and relationships dont last, because both parties dont understand what they are doing in life. why they are always busy, why they have to do certain things, why they have to behave in certain manner. just admit it, we are still youths. we dont understand alot of things. dont let the wind of love strike you and make you go head over heels over someone, when you know its not gonna be practical at all. think about it, you are so busy with school life, no time for families and friends much less a bf/gf. you know, i'm not out here to dissuade any of you to break off with your partner. i'm just voicing out my views. sure thing, being in a relationship is always sweet at the initial point, but dont get yourself thinking only about the initial point, what about the future? understanding got to be mutual, same for feelings. dont always yearn for the sweet period, and when problems arise complain that the other party changed bla bla bla. "..through good times and bad times.." remember this?
that was a pretty long paragraph, but i'm still not quite done with my explanation. dont get angry with my views. because like i say, its my views and opinions, you can voice it out too. just dont take it too personal and please dont get offended. you know, i think to be in a relationship, values beliefs plays a very important part. if you both dont share the same values and beliefs, its gonna be very tough maintaining the relationship. which means, both got to be "..equally yoked.." get what i mean? i suddenly lost my train of thoughts. haha. so i guess, this 2 paragraphs would be what i have to say for BGR huh. oh ya, there's no particular soul mate you have out there, you just got to look out for the person whom you feel comfortable with i guess.
now, family. they're probably the only people who have seen all sides of you? like how violent you are and stuff. haha. come to think of it, my family is quite quiet. as in, you know after dinner we are back to doing our own stuffs. it may seem as if we dont have any interaction, but i still love them alot. i wonder why. ever wonder why God gave you a family? i guess, its like why God created Eve for Adam, to provide companionship. Family, they are probably the only people who stand by you through your everything. even though they dont behave as if they care, they quarrel with you day and night, they look as if they hate you, but they still care. you can see how much God values family by seeing that one of the ten commandments consist of "..Honour your father and mother.." they are the ones who bring us up, instill values in us. we cannot hate our parents, because they brought us into this world, because they love us, because they care for us, because they make their world revolves round us already. parenthood is probably one of the most tough responsibility to take up. look at how naughty a kid can go, and how the parent handle. i mean, sometimes you hear all the screaming and bla bla bla, but all they do was for the kids sake. somehow, us as kids, we feel as though our parents dont care how we feel. why do we have to listen to them, why do they think this manner, why do they want us to do certain things and forbid us to do certain thing. and it always come under, because they care. yeah, i realise how tough and annoying it gets when things arent what they feel it is. like why cant they think for us. i guess, parents are just too protective. to see us get hurt, hurts them more then it hurts us. anyhow, much as sometimes i do not understand why parents have to say certain things, why they have to stop me from doing certain things, i know, they love me with all their heart. and yea, i love them too. of course, my sister too. squabbles bla bla bla, unavoidable. in fact both of us are in a different frequency. i think we sometimes have different values and beliefs, but i still love her. no other reason, its just because she's my sister. =)
and now, friends. people always say "..friends are family members God did not give you.." what do you think? *shrugs* i dont know. friends have been coming and going throughout my life. just when i thought this friendship will last, it turns out to be a different story. i have lots of cliques. and i just suddenly thought of the past, when i was pri5 and 6. you know when you're pri 5 and 6 you thought you rule the world. haha. and i was really very naughty then larx. behaving like some ah lians but chicken out when something arise. haha. that's me. plot with my friends who to bully, go in big groups. quite funny larx. all those childish acts. then, i thought our friendship would last. but it din, because soon we were all in different school, different class. however we still say hi to each other, its just that closeness is gone. then secondary 1 you thought you lost the world because everyone else in the sch were older then you. well, not really for my case because i only have seniors one year older then me. haha. there, you made friends who become your "godbrother, godsister" so to say. BGR arise and stuff. lots of things happen larx. friends come and go. quarrel because of guys, quarrel because of misunderstanding. at one point, my clique was the biggest clique in sch, and at another time, i'm a nobody. friends, they seem to be just the supporting cast in my life story. but NO. they're not. without them, i wouldnt have the fun i had that forms this beautiful memory, without them, i wouldnt be who i am. really. much as we have lots of differences, come to think of it, they were all important to me once in my life. friendship to me is sometimes even more important then BGR. i place all my focus on friends. friends taught me so much. i love them for who they are and how they've made me to who i am. primary sch friends, secondary sch friends, church friends, colleagues, they all come under one category- FRIENDS.
life story so much, my views on friendship is like how we can handle BGR. the case scenario however changed, because i'm now involved in it. friendship needs identity too. just like BGR, our relationship with God and family. friends are not just there to keep you company when you're bored, they are there to add colours in your life. friends need assurance too. friends need understanding too. in fact friends need everything like how BGR need. in fact, do you realise i repeat certain points throughout? haha. well, you get the picture, a relationship, be it BGR, family, friends, with God we need all these. assurance, identity. this 2 are important. when all things fail, God's love never fails. much as i love my family, my friends, i bet i've hurt them just as much before. i guess, life is a never ending learning process. how have your learning been in life?
well, in summary, in all relationship that you are in, remember to assure each others importance. until now, i can only say, i love all of you. really. God bless you.
i miss you ar.. eh.. all those having prelims, promos, exams, important exams, JIA YOU!!! and i'm so getting myself out of the house tomorrow.. ahhhh. who wanna go out?