what is sadness? its some emotions caused by sorrow and unhappiness? that's weird, i should be the happiest person on this planet earth after getting what i wanted all along for ages. yeah, i was happy that few minutes ago. but suddenly, upon receiving one msg, everything seem to come crashing down. i dont know is this entry gonna be something that will set any of you thinking, or is this entry gonna be a boring about-my-day entry. but i know, i want to type this entry like what i havent been doing for ages. about my day, about my thoughts, sidetrack here and there and accomplishing all of the above. i dont even care if you find it difficult to read this entry. because i just want to blog everything out.
ever wonder why humans are always procrastinating? we can procrastinate REAL WELL. trust me, because i am one big fan of it. i love to procrastinate and i see people around me procrastinating. and then ever wonder why humans feel the different negative emotions? we definately allow ourselves to be slaves to these emotions, because when we feel down/sad/blue we force everyone around us, be it the culprit or those kind souls who want to cheer you up, we just force them to our anger/sadness frustration machine(if there is such a thing). we rant everything out to them and force them to listen and not only that, they have to take our screams and our blame of why is the world such an unfair world. we make ourselves to be those oh-so-poor-thing, oh-so-sad soul ever living on this surface of the world. like there's no one else suffering as much as us on this planet earth. like living in hdb flat is the worse disgrace ever, like having to carry a not so trendy phone is a fault. we just give the blame to everyone and everywhere but never ourselves. sometimes the sense of negative emotions is arise of our greed? maybe some other things which i cant think off hand now. but no. i'm not here to point fingers at anyone, because i'm pointing fingers at everyone including myself. yes you heard me loud and clear. what we are facing might seem the biggest event of our life, but is it true? when we lost someone close, yea i mean, its sad, really, i would probably breakdown yadayada. but life still goes on yeah? losing someone, all of us have to go through that one day wont we? but when life is oh-so-beautiful, and someone chooses to give up everything for a greater calling, and end up not being appreciated NEVER MIND, but when you have to take away this precious soul from the surface of planet earth, i'm sorry, i'm still finding it hard to accept. yeah, wake up amanda, you know such things people who chose the route already know and have already given their life up to HIM, but i just want to rant it out. yes, i'm being the all so normal whiney girl here. yes, i can whine. why why why, must the same creatures, who were given the authority to rule the earth together, be against each other? we see people fighting hard against diseases like cancer, aids, kidney failure, fighting hard so they can live for one more day, to do and fulfil the dreams of their lives. we see people whose life is so normal, going to school is so normal and suddenly one fine day, a trip to school, end up as a tradegy whereby one's head is gone? then we see people seeking death for the SILLIEST reasons, eg. he dont love me anymore, i failed my test. for goodness sake, can you freaking open your eyes and see how so many people are actually fighting hard to live in this world, fighting hard to spend another day with their love ones, how one never expect to die suddenly, how one's life end up to be in control of yet another person? is life here for us to manipulate? is there any respect for the word L-I-F-E and the deeper meaning of it? life might seem mundane to you, boring to you. everyday i wake up not knowing what to do. but once awhile, you get a sweet msg from a friend that says- i thought of you. that is so enough to put a smile to your face, or in fact to mine. once awhile, i meet a stranger and he/she smile at me, i will find that life is beautiful. living together in harmony, living for the purpose you should be. life isnt a game, life isnt depend on that few cards, life isnt depend on the lines on your hands, life isnt about YOU. life is about the people around you, life is about the higher calling, life is about God, life is about living for so many reasons. and why why why, must some people's life be in the hands of barbaric creatures?! ahhhhh. though i dont want to say it, and agree with the things along that line, but i have to say, and still want to say, life dont seem fair on some people, its the same as how i always wonder and wonder and continue wondering why no matter how much hard work i put in, i never ever get to excel. but whatever man, results, they are nothing, if i'm smart, intelligent, i score straight As but i dont know and dont understand the real meaning of life, i'm probably some rubbish that shouldnt be living on the surface of this world. sigh. life, someone tell me you appreciate it. life, someone tell me you're living for the right purpose. life, cherish it.