this terrible lifestyle of mine has got to stop. as in like, seriously STOP. sleeping every night after watching friends or some other sitcoms/drama on channel 5 every night at like some ungodly holy, is madness, and i'm very sure my mum would gladly kill me if she finds out. or rather she does know i sleep late but dont know exactly what time eh? *raise eyebrow*
ok, sorry, somthing funny from friends
rachel- doing well huh phoebe- $8.20, -silence- maybe not, cause the first $2 was from me.
HAHA. friends is like the best ever sitcom. i never understand shows like desperate housewives. or rather, i dont get myself involved in it. i'm a rather cheena person.
oh another funny thing.
passer-by- hi, can i get back the 2bucks from your case, i accidentally dropped it. phoebe- -passes back the 2bucks to him-
hahaha. how dumb can friends be? like totally right. haha. i love phoebe and joey. they're like funny, and i aspire to be like either of them. or maybe not their job in the show. they're kindda like failures right? *raise eyebrow* but they're funny. haha. ok, friends ended. and i'm still wide awake. feeling extremely not happy. like some sort of spiritual attack? its dumb larx.
quite tiring having those non-stop up and down or the erm... what you call it.. emotions. yes yes. like one moment you're high and happy and yadayada, and the next, you're like so so down. but then again, you're reminded to look on the cross, and yeah, you feel good again. but you know what? i'm not feeling not good. its like, i just feel, erm, yea, empty. like really empty, dont know what to feel and all. ahhh. i'm just making myself miserable right? maybe at night you really get a lot more emo. anyway, sidetrack a little to friends, phoebe has no talent for music, as in like NO. hahaha. so funny.
you know, its THURSDAY now, which means, i'm getting my results tomorrow.. ahhhh. KILL ME. no nightmares. i'll kill myself if my GPA drops below 3. ok, not as in really KILL but well, figure of speech larx friend. haha. anyhow, its done already, and if i did say i lift it up to God so shouldnt i be not worrying. its just redundant already right? oh well.
anyway, did i mention i went bible studying with the dpf girls today at angel's place. and its really nice doing that with them. like spent 1hr doing a few verses and all from different perspective. that's like super duper cool lor. God is like speaking to us from all these views. i think He's always cool, cause he always provide and always love. never lack of it before. wonderful, so wonderful, is His great love. then we also spent time just sharing thoughts and all, and i realise, or rather i know larx, my thoughts are always jumbled up. and so i think it takes alot for people to understand what in the world i'm trying to say. so maybe i suck at you know, just bringing across my thoughts to people. so, need to improve on communications. or rather, my english.
why people assumes that i'm not a chinese person? i adore the language larx. and i'm in love with chinese songs. i dont like how english songs have evolved to, its no longer something that i'll indulge in like last time. the evolution of the music industry eh. not long, i probably give up on chinese songs too. and yes yes yes, i did so much better for my chinese during my O levels then my english, so stop assuming that i cant speak chinese for nuts and my english is good, because its just the opposite. there's a reason why i prefer to type like this then to type lyk dis. i used to type lyk dis and not like this. and i just realise how annoying it is to be reading all these for long. that's why i got irritated with people using web languages for school stuffs. totally annoying. but anyhow, that is like sidetrack. ok, i prefer conversing in english, though occassionally chinese will be brought in. haha. oh well, come on, all singaporeans are billingual larx, that is if only you use it. i converse in english most of the time, and i use chinese only in sch. it has always been like that, i dont know why. haha. i cant believe that i could actually go on and on about chinese and english. hahaha. but anyway, i dont understand why some people feel that conversing in chinese or dialect is lower class. so weird right. i feel conversing in chinese or dialect rather erm.. i dont know. feel home? haha. that's why its called your MOTHER TONGUE? hahaha. well, we're chinese after all.
hmmm. since i'm still AWAKE, let's carry on with this entry. what should i talk about? hmmmm. i dont know, i'm very much very comfortable with how i spend my life now. like mostly alone, with the occassional inclusion of my churchies to do bible study or just fellowship, which i REALLY enjoy. but that doesnt mean i dont enjoy going out with my other friends. you probably say i'm bias. like when my church friends ask me out, its always ok. but when other friends does, i take very long to decide. it simply is because we meet different goals at the end of the day. like how can i ever say no to meeting God, because its so fun. it takes God to get me to wake up early and go out. but of course, it would be great to have friends to just go out and all larx. but again, i'm a mummy's daughter, so i want to be a good girl and stay home. hahaha. probably explain why i say i dont want to go out to a lot of people. of course i have so many opportunities to meet up with my churchies now because they're all applying for uni and all, so they're having their holidays. that's why we can meet up, or else like last sem, i was rotting everyday at home. (:
hmmm. i seem to be explaining my actions to you all, which really, there's no need to. but i shall just continue explaining myself since i'm still awake. you know, really, i think church friends are like life-long friends, because you are always there to stir each other and all, and we probably wont change church and all, and so we'll always see each other every week. even if we dont talk every week, but because Jesus bond us together, we're always updating each other when possible. but for friends, we're actually brought together because of something common we do, when we stop, so does the friendship. of course, it takes a lot of job to maintain it, but who's gonna do it man? i'm NOT someone who's like that. i like to give people as much personal time as possible. i dont like to bug them all day long, because i myself wants a lot of personal time. i can get close to you, but that's only after a period of time. i cannot take it when people advances too fast. i'll just withdraw. and of course, there must be chemistry larx. hahaha.
ok, next, why do i like kids/babies. because they're so adorable. yeah, they can get quite naughty and all, but they arent scheming like adults. they arent political like adults. they're simple, innocent. oh man, that's why God wants us to have child-like faith, cause they just believe, they just trust, cause they have no capabilities to do things on their own, and so they depend. WE SHOULD BE like that too. not relying on our own strength but relying on God's. yeah, i love kids, because they remind me of this, and that they can sometime impact your life so greatly. well, its a plus point if they're fat, or rather chubby, like that then CUTE mah. hahahaha. so fat kids are highly recommended. haha. but of course, not tooo fat larx, detrimenting to health larx. hee.
am i talking too much, i think my blog entry this time round will be quite lengthy. well, lengthy is an understatement. hahaha. oh well, can you believe it, results are coming out, which means i'm gonna enter into year3, i'm a senior now, which means SIP gonna start soon, which means, i need to start applying, which means i NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO GO. and then after 6mths, graduation. oh man, i'm growing old like FAST. no good. haha. then where should i go from there? my parents would really prefer me to continue studying. well, same for me i guess, i dont want to start work so early. it means starting a boring life soon. well, the only thing exciting about the industry i'm entering is.. no 9-5 jobs, no 5 days week, meeting difficult customers everyday. hmm. it seems like i'm stating the bad stuffs. hahaha. there're good stuffs too larx, like good colleagues, like being appreciated, like learning new things. well, it depends again on how you view things. yup.
anyway, i seriously miss shooting, and ya, hopefully i can go back to sports and all soon. i'll be completely healed man, nothing like. heal already but cannot do this cannot do that. haha. then you know what, i want to sing sing sing sing sing. indulge myself in music. and then i want to see stars. i miss having a open field to lie down and just look up into the beautiful sky. and then, i miss europe actually. hahaha. probably because i went there with some knowledge of europe, and so i enjoy more. actually i still remember a lot from my brisbane trip and america trip which happened when i was rather young. yeah man, i'm like such a blessed kid. zhon said that ruth said that i'm such a savvy kid. am i giving people the wrong impression of me that i'm rich? you know, i'm really NOT RICH. its all His blessings larx, that i can have what i want. but all these are gonna stop like soon. too much of wants just keeps you away from God. its like an obstruction. then like you cannot have what you want then you get angry and upset which is wrong larx. yup yup.
i've been typing for almost an hour. hahaha. and i'm still awake. what is this. hahahaha. terrible terrible. i think i should go pray larx, i probably sleep the next moment.