all these fond memories are just pure salt to the open wound now. and every single memory just triggle off the ache in my heart, the tears in my eyes and so much. so much so, i dont know to hate the memories now or not. to block it off so that i wouldnt feel the hurt anymore, or to just let it be there and hurt me further. of course, i'm aware that its all those memories that is very much part of my life. but if i want to run away, away from the pain, the tears, blocking off those memories seem extremely feasible. but sigh.. much as i want to, i'm not going to.
such irony that all coralites, the pioneer batch, the second batch the teachers, ex-teachers, principal, ex-principal, all gathered together. but the occassion is just wrong, so so wrong. sigh. tonight is the last night. sigh. i dont know what to say. i'm just upset larx.
will be singing distant shore tomorrow. and i really dont know whether to sing or not. because its such a sad occassion already, and we're gonna sing such a sad song. and i know i cant stand it. and if i want to sing, i want to sing it well. but without her as our conductor, as our teacher, i dont know how it will be like.. sigh... it's gonna be so hard singing it now...