so sweet larx. i think its like God telling us as well. His love for us just increases everyday. in fact, he never stops loving us. i mean, would you actually hate something you created in the first place? i bet like, if you created a video, that's like your baby and you want it to be in your arms for like forever and that people will say hey your baby is nice blablabla. i think that's exactly what God feels and how our earthly parents feel.
if i havent tell you how blessed i am, i'm telling you now, i've got great parents. its true, even though at times i feel as if they dont understand me and i just feel so fed up and all, but i know i can never bring myself to scold them or what for more then a day larx. (because i'm only human, and so when i'm angry, emotions take over. =/) yup. but they've never really said no to me. and when they do, its only because they were worried that i might overtired myself or what not. but they've been very supportive in whatever i want to do. and tries to keep me down on level ground. which is really good. in fact my parents have built me into someone who's rather the me you see now. i talk and make noise, but i also keep quiet. sometimes i'm an extrovert, but other times, an introvert. they brought me to church to discover that there's a greater being loving me. and there's so much more. giving me allowance, providing my every need and wants. i have great parents! really. although sometimes i wish they could be like friends where i can talk nonsense to. but its alright. i still love them a lot. (:(:
now, that's about my parents. even earthly parents, would want to provide me with so much they can if they're able to manage everything well. how about God in heaven. He's definitely more then just a dad or a mum. He's a friend who's always behind the scene waiting for us to open up to Him. He doesnt want any extra attention. all He ever wanted was simply us. you know, He's amazing larx. because He's able to let us feel love dispite the distance. He's able to communicate to us dispite the noises and all. and the reason why i say i love Him, is because He first love me. very cliche, but very true. He love me so much, that i want to let the people around me feel His love through me as well. its like allowing Him to make His glory shine through me.
but sometimes, as we walk the path of life, we just find it so difficult at times having this child-like faith. because afterall, as we walk the daily life, we're growing daily. be it physically, mentally or even spiritually. and very often we allow emotions to take over all thoughts. its nice, when its all about the sweetness of life. but when darkness, sadness seeps in, its a different story altogether. and at this point of time, we just realise, actually we're all self-centered people. sad, but true. there's no one on earth who isnt self-centered. everyone is. its just that some show it at different circumstances. very often when we realise we've lost something we hold dear to. and actually, when we realised we're all so self-centered and all, we just refuse to go into His presence, thinking He'll reject us or whatsoever, or like, we've hurt Him so much, we dont have the face to see Him. so, question. where have all the faith and the spiritual high thing we're feeling about God being omnipresence and stuffs, that He loved us, that everything was done on the cross. We've missed the most important key point of making all these something our heart and head believe in and not just something we believe in when we're high.
its hard larx. i was just sharing with my parents about worshipping God and i feel that there's something lagging in our ministry's worship. and my parents told me, you need to go back to your own heart, not theirs. and i was like, yeah, was my heart there to worship the almighty one or was my heart half to worship and half to criticise? that's wrong. that's just one thing i was sharing with them larx. but i think many of times, we put all these passion aside and do the daily routine stuffs that we get sicked of it and get tired of doing it. even loving people. yes. its no easy feat. even like i love this person like no one's business, but when you realise its one-sided and you are not using the passion from above, you feel tired loving. you get the picture?
sometimes i think its good to get the focus out of the "I"but rather into His kingdom, His glory. but i guess this requires a lot of prayer and a lot of passion that we can ask from Him. (: yes. i want more, because i want His glory to be shine through me. (:
