the great xchange, i think we got rather good response. praise be to God. (:
din really get to sit through the whole event because i had to prepare for the refreshments. dont exactly think i managed well, but thank God for people who came to help. you know who you are. so we were kept busy busy busy for like the longest time. it seems like we had problems laid RIGHT before us, but thank God we managed to salvage everything, and i think everything ended well. or so i think larx. but still thank God for this whole event, that i believed have touched many lives, even though we might not see any results just yet. yup.
but as we leave, as if the lights turned off, it feels like i'm back alone to the same problem. i cant seem to find any inner joy. and i'm starting to find myself very scary, that i can switch on and off just like that. perhaps i havent exactly let go. but this is a very tough lesson of letting go. ): i need you Father. i need you Lord. i need you Jesus. ):
why am i holding on to it? is it so difficult to let go? maybe just maybe he did gain a foothold on me through this. my head is telling me so much stuffs that's like the right thing to do. but you know, when your heart refuses to give in, its just so stuff. i know all these while that in life, it doesnt always go your way. i know it so well, but this time, it seems extremely difficult for me to let go. i just cant. my heart aches so constantly now. i'm just so tired mentally and spiritually, and well, maybe physically now. sigh.
how i wish i could let go easily, then i wouldnt be in such a state.