almost everyone who know me will have the impression that i'm someone with lots of tolerance and very patient. or maybe not. but in any case, this entry is not gonna be nice.
there's so much nonsense going on in my life now, that i just feel suddenly, so drained. i dont know. i just feel like i'm like a toy, where they can manipulate and just play around with? its like, i dont know. erm.. like they know you have this hope, and even though they dont want you in anyway, they just patronise you with nice stuffs like "i'll keep you in view" or some nonsense. and i just realised, i'm like a fool! the feeling just sucks. i mean, who enjoy being a toy to another?! sigh. when i feel like i have so much hopes, that the future aint so scary afterall. i just feel so crushed now. i'm not someone who cant take negative remarks/feedback. i would definitely prefer that then you playing my thoughts and all. i have my own feelings if you must know. maybe that's why the adult world is so political. because everybody's defences are up. and when they have that authority and power, they know they can just twist you round their finger. ):
sigh. i was listening to "i need thee every hour" on my ipod when i was on my way home. and it just hit me. i really do need Him every hour. no. its minutes and seconds. i just feel so lousy. sigh. the wait is killing me in every aspect of my life. i feel as if i can just breakdown any time. is this what i have to face in the future? sigh. i hate this thing called waiting now. ):
which kind soul can stop this wait i have now? ): sigh...