God's love is amazing. In fact, He never stops. and i guess the one who backs out first, its actually us. i dont know. spending majority of my time last week in wallowing in self-pity, i dont know what did i gain at the end. perhaps some consolation from people? i dont know. i din feel good at all throughout the whole of last week. it became worse when it was friday, and even worse when it was saturday. i felt as if i was alone.
but you know what, i dont know why, but when one of my friend sms-ed me on sunday, and our short conversation (through sms) he kind of woke me up from my "ME" thoughts, but divert my thoughts to Him. and yeah. where did i place Him the whole of last week? i dont know. i felt really really lousy yesterday night as well. sigh. never mind what happened. but i know i really needed to spend sometime with Him to tell Him my hurts and all, cause i was really desperate already. can you see how pathetic we humans are? we always find Him when we're forced to circumstances we dont like. sigh. but i really thank God for His grace. That's why i'm able to run back to Him everytime. (:
with all those repairing of emotions and all, though at times the sad thoughts come in, but i very much felt lighter. i no longer carry that heavy yoke. and i just feel everything seems to be falling into place. there's just so much to give thanks to. like every other second, you can think of something to give thanks to. that's really nice. cause i'm happy giving thanks. and now, i feel all excited and hyped up about the future. (:
anyhow, i think i'll drop the idea of going overseas. talked to my mum about it, and she very much wish i wont go, cause she'll have to miss me for 5months. hahaha. oh well, i'm too lazy to go down to sentosa anyway. cant fit into my schedule to make a trip down to meet the person in charge. oh ya, i had a nice time talking to my mum yesterday during lunch. it was only the both of us, so i shared with her my downs yesterday. and, i really enjoyed that 45mins chat? haha. i believe she did too. (:
today was a great day. besides the slight frustration of not getting a taxi, cause i woke up late for my test. HAHA. ya, but i was feeling happy today. dont know why. hmmmm. well, i started having lots of positive thoughts, and that's cool. cause i feel like, i dont know. i dont really think its about letting go larx. but more on what we can learn in the process. afterall, life is about learning. learning His creation, learning about His people, and guess what? learning about Him. i think i'm quite easily affected by my emotions, which is, not very good. gotta spend more time with Him. yeah.
hmmm. actually, i still feel a little uncomfortable. i dont know. maybe its just on my part. or maybe, it can never ever be like the past. but whatever it is. you will always be someone i hold dear to, cause afterall, you're someone He place in my life. (:
alrighty. i should go and try to be hardworking. hahaha.