who said that the day will turn out good? The only reason i would say its a good day is because the Lord hath made this day. but you know what, i'm feeling super low now. sigh. you'll never know the stress that i face of vying with all the other "power" people in gaining placements in all those renowned companies. you'll never know the desires and hopes that i have, being snatched away from me. its like. haha. i dont know. perhaps gotta blame myself for not being hardworking enough to do well in my studies. that's why i struggle? sigh. the irony in life.
you know, how christians leaders will say, place your burdens below the cross, give it to Him, He will carry you thru. no doubt. that is TRUE. however, it has to start from us isnt it? from us, walking to the cross, putting those burdens down, and walking away with full confidence He is there to help us. but many of times, we only walked up to the cross, put down the burdens, after awhile, we carry them up again and carry on with life. i guess we never did knew how to let go did we?
i'm happy. really happy for you. because with that call, you're a step nearer to your dreams. and what's more? you're my bestie. of course i'm happy for you. but having to hide the tears behind such happiness, its taking the toil on me too. i dont know what to feel. one thing for sure, i'm confident in you getting that placement yeah? because like what i've told you too, you're great. (: its the after effect of hearing that news that got me to such low spirits larx.
sigh. i simply do not know how to sell myself. perhaps i have never taken a greater thought on who i want to be in the future. but hey, guess what? time is running up. what am i to do?! will just sending to all the companies help me? what a joke eh..? so much about having dreams and aspirations. all crushed in the hands of the society. just perfect.
why must everything be based on that piece of paper? why?! there're people out there who can do work too. they just dont perform well in examinations that's all. i understand. why take the risk of employing people who basically cant do well in their examinations. probably deemed as lazy people who doesnt bother about their studies. what more, working. obviously its safer to employ someone who's smart. if all things fail, you still got that brains working for you.
sigh. you all probably think i'm choosy about the companies. but, i'm really not. i apply for almost all the events companies if you must know. not applying for hotels and f&b is for fear that my back cannot take the pressure. i dont want to be a burden. but ahhhhhh... i CANNOT afford to fail my diploma!
"cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall..." ps55:22