it's so hard to stay optimistic all the time. it really is. i've been doing that the entire semester, knowing that everything will turn out fine. and indeed, my projects were completed on time, and we did quite alright. it is cool. it is nice. just to know you did alright. and no big fluctuations for ur grades. and i'm happy. and i have so many more dreams, going into the uni doing well and stuffs. then, this have to happen. it just seem so real that if i dont do well for this subject, i'm really quite dead. just one subject, and it will ruin my future. and now, looking back, i wonder why in the world did i choose that subject. i must be out of my mind. i'm frustrated with my group mates first(cds) then i just decide that if it really means so much to me, i should have done something more. but no, i din. i just took it for granted so many things. the worse thing was having assumptions that they are smart enough to know what to do and what not to do. i just dont know how to be looking at the bright side now. the once ever bright door shining at me suddenly seem so dull. someone stole my light bulb. my fish swam away. and i allow negative thoughts in. sigh
i cannot afford all these nonsense to go beyond today. so lord, i pray, all this thoughts will leave my mind in the name of jesus. i'm just lifting everything up into your hards. i know you are always in charge. amen.