i'm either very bored, or i have a lot of things to share recently.
any case, i'm such a procrastinator. i'm studying very very slowly. too much distractions already larx. i never like studying in the first place. oh well, i better start working hard very very soon. it's my last chance to boost my GPA. do my part and just believe right? (:
hmmm. suppose to go home and study today, but my mum pass to me this christian vcd she bought from jb. acted by hongkong artists. and it's in relation to christianity, the life of this particular doctor, who is erm.. i dont know what's the term, but he saves babies. he lost his child when his wife met with an accident and then he made the painful choice of giving up his son's life for his wife's life. but his wife blame him for like 20yrs or so larx. and to sort of redeem himself, so that he doesnt have to feel too guilty, he work hard in saving babies and also spreading the gospel, spreading the Lord's love to his patients and colleagues. i just cry and cry as i see the babies die, see the difficulties people face and all. afterall, it's a real life story. most importantly, seeing a baby born into this world, and after struggling so long and still fail to live, its heartwrenching. of course, the story had a nice ending, whereby the wife finally forgive the husband larx. you know, like learn to let go.
yesterday's sermon was kind of deep, i feel larx personally. but i learn a lot from the sermon too. it gives me insight to a different level of God's faithfulness. you know, God is just so worthy of our praise, but in our human lives, we have so many BUTS that just cover up the path where God can reveal His power in our lives. yeah, life is definitely not a bed of roses, but depending on God make life easier doesnt it? i'm just thinking, how easy it is for us to remind our friends around us to rely on His strength on His wisdom, but we ourselves arent doing it well too. its just words, that serves no purpose. then i thought of how our team in KM relied on God for strength to trek. it was a challenge, physically and spiritually i would say. i mean, we're in a close country. however, we overcome the challenges there and then through His faithfulness din we?
there's so many things happening to me that sometimes i'm just tired of thinking also. and you know, the brains that God gave us, it is so powerful, because it controls ur every thought, ur every emotions.
sigh.
what's all the point of seeking things on earth. the reliance we have on this earth, on people, its as if, when people give up on us, we are left with no cure, no meaning in life already. but then, when man give up, that's when God intervene right?
i have so much things to learn.
learn to forgive, learn to love, learn to submit, learn to LEARN, learn to lead, learn to rely. i'm still learning, i'm still seeking. i really am. ______________________________________________________
oh what joy is it to be friend me. i snapped at you AGAIN. it's weird how i always make things end up this way at the end of the week. i dont know larx. maybe i should just stop talking. the more i say the more wrong things i would say. -slaps forehead- i shall go bury myself in my books and seek forgiveness some other day, but then again, you probably wouldnt want me to bring it up if i really did snap at you, so what's the point? so hard to be nice sometimes... well, i do want to be nice, especially to you. but we just dont seem to be like how it was anymore.......
