it's been what.. 1.5weeks since internship started? i started loving the place (even before i met my superior), then i started getting stress out and dread the work, cause they all seem so mundane. but now, i would say, though the jobs are still mundane, but God has been good. He gave me good colleagues, colleagues who are willing to teach, to just talk to me and stuffs. and i feel belong larx. quite important you know. but the sad thing is, as of now, it seems to me, i'm the only christian in the whole office. that's like.. sigh. no wonder people are using vulgarities openly and saying those kind of jokes. and people smoke too. its not allowed, but they still find place to do that. why god why?? why let me be in a group of unbelievers?
you know, my parents actually asked if i would like to continue working there after i graduate, cause they believe God gave me this placement for a reason. but what is it my lord?
and to be frank, i feel tired larx. so tired that all i want to do is sleep when i reach home. dont really wanna talk to anyone and stuffs. that's not the kind of life God wants me to have right?
but you know what? i'm gonna change my mindset and all towards my internship. its not just about fulfilling my diploma requirements, its not about letting people know i'm good. but i'm gonna shine for God, i'm gonna be relying on Him for strength to walk this journey. its gonna be tough larx. like, staying awake doing mundane job, facing the people that i dont feel comfortable there and stuffs like that. but God will build me right?
yeah. the wonders of God just amazes me time and time again.
and all i wanna do for Him is that, in my life, He'll be lifted high.
how? i dont know, i just have to listen to Him and follow His direction.
there will be no more nonsense on my part. i've got to keep my focus on Him.
and Lord, i love you so much, that i feel i'm losing myself.