Wednesday, February 28, 2007 the saddest things that can ever happen is probably the separation from death, knowing that you'll never ever ever get to see the other party ever again... i don't know.. it's late and i can't sleep.. been turning tossing turning tossing and turning and tossing. just too many things on my mind.. am trying very hard to not let any thing affect my conversation with people, my life with people.. but it's just hard when something not that good and pleasing happens.. i guess i'm really someone who gets emotionally affected very easily.. example hearing news of someone passing on whom i do not know but related to my friend or something along that line, i probably get stuck under too. am i being a busybody, poking my nose into every single bad thing or what? i don't know.. in less then 8hrs, everything will be gone.. will it? how are they going to handle what is to come? can i in any sort of manner be of help? *shrugs* life is a mystery now i guess.. especially for those without jesus.. because they are always on a lookout for somewhere they can feel a sense of belonging, sense of hope!! talking about sense of hope.. many people who buys 4-d and toto knows the probablity of them winning, however they still buy insisting that they're buying a ray of hope.. but are they? (sorry, i'm not pro-gambling because of many reason.. but i do not despise or look down in any sense to people who gamble.. its a form of entertainment the world engage in..) i mean, what are the probablity of winning? its so slim.. but yet.. people reject the hope that is there.. given freely.. Jesus Christ.. sigh.. do we always blame God first when things happen? am i blaming God? i just wanna feel Him.. having the will now is simply not enough.. something is seriously lacking here.. i'm really seriously hearing 2 voices in my mind now.. one is telling me to hold on to God.. the other is simply killing away every single ray of hope i can seek from God larx.. which obviously is not from God.. need to shut all negative thoughts away from my mind.. sigh.. i don't know.. just thinking about life in general.. maybe i did take life a tad too seriously.. that's why i'm blinded.. clouded by the meaning of so-called LIFE.. God is my only release.. to all the pains.. God is my only hope.. in painful circumstances.. God is someone i need to talk to and rant to.. so that He can talk to me in return.. i just need God.. period. gosh.. all these are getting too heavy hearted for me.. i'm sorry.. but i won't wanna entertain much people now.. perhaps just those few who's close to heart..? *shrugs*.. anyhow.. do drop by joshua harris blog.. things that he'd typed are really annoited by God.. at least to me it speaks.. http://joshharrisblogson.blogspot.com/ alrighty.. i should go count sheeps or something.. need to wake up in less then 4hrs time... God please see me through that painful moment.. Labels: doubts, God, life, questions He blessed me at 2:08 AM |