different kind of freedom i guess. now i have the freedom of time.
it's like i'm given 24hrs placed in my hand every new day, and its up to me to decide how i wanna spend it. there's no commitments such as.. oh i have to spend 10hours at work yadayada. so pretty cool? i guess so.
have been going for driving lessons faithfully. let's pray and hope i can get an earlier test date. (:
hmmmm.. besides that, i guess i have been basically just bumming around.
actually, i do have somethings to think about.
e.g. furthering my studies, my research paper, serving God in the different aspects and basically just the cell groups in general.
what is all these? my responsibilities, my life. ahhhh. i'm tired!
you know my life has literally been someone else's. because i have never done anything based on my own decision! it has always been someone telling me what to do. and when i choose to do something that is not what others deem to be the route that any normal youth/person should take, i'm someone who is not mature enough to think on my own!
it hurt especially when someone close to you always think that you're never mature enough to think on your own, and that all the ambitions you have the thoughts you have they are all rubbish.
then you're being told to think and plan your life. i mean, God gave us dreams and ambitions for a reason. and yes, sometimes it may seem to be a harder route, but if it is given by God, He will provide a way out right?
i'm living a life you think is what God wants me to.
i'm not given a chance to speak up.
i'm not given a chance to explain.
i'm not given a chance to try.
i'm just not given a chance.
i'm tired. i really am. no one understands me.
or maybe, i'm really just an immature child....
God, i'm hurting.. and i really don't know what to do. but because it's in your commandment that i should do this first beside anything else.. i'll follow.. knowing you have the bestest plan for me..