Friday, March 23, 2007 Happy Birthday Ms Lim and Ms Tay!! Love you two loads.. (: ok.. this is the result of sleeping in the late afternoon.. so now i'm awake and left ALONE!! how sad is that? ok larx.. not really sad.. (: i was feeling pretty anxious/stressed/down/emo the past few days.. about what? i have no idea.. i guess its really about the next chapter of my life that i'm about to cross over.. probably a lot of the uncertainties that i have and am affected unknowingly.. i guess a lot of people are thinking about their next step as well.. so i'm not alone.. haha. but i've been thinking so much, about my family, about money, about friends and commitment in Singapore.. so i think its time to be plain honest with myself what i really desire.. cause if i'm not honest with myself, i dont think i'll ever hear and understand what God would want for me in my life.. guess i've been reasoning A LOT.. and also get affected with the external factors.. so let me be self-centered this once at least please.. when talking about furthering my studies, i'm more then happy and excited that i can actually further my studies!! i mean, i never did expect to see myself going to uni.. in some ways, i might be feeling a little inferior in regards to academic stuffs.. but i want to work hard for so many reasons.. i want to make my parents proud and i definitely want to live a luxurious life.. i mean.. who doesnt want? and in this world, money can buy u so many "luxury".. like my dream BMW car. hahaha. okok. yeah.. so now i got the chance to further my studies, i seriously do not want to stay in Singapore. In fact, i want to fly to australia, to brisbane, and study Business Communication/Business Management and live alone in the hostel/rented apartment.. and during the holiday, i want to be able to work part time here and there so that i can have more money, and perhaps drive around aussieland! then after graduation, i want to work there for like another 2 to 3 yrs before coming back.. because i know when i come back with such an experience, i'm definitely up for grabs by the big companies in Singapore! and it will be easier for me to get a job then.. with my experience from overseas.. it sounds like a perfect plan! haha! yeah, that is a little of my selfish thoughts about what i want.. but i'm too emotionally attached to my parents, friends and commitment in Singapore that i find it hard to just let go and go.. and of course, like what i had mentioned in the past.. i dont want to cause any sort of financial burden to my parents.. yeah.. and having to let go of so many things.. like my cell group.. and missing my friends and all.. its hard.. it really is.. am i reasoning too much? i dont know.. which one sounds like a matured thinking, something that is being thought through and through? is my idea of a matured thinking a childish thinking instead to others? then again, what am i gonna do in the future? i have so many dreams and desire that i'm always suppressing cause i find no outlet to throw it out.. haha.. i want to work for a renowned hotel- four season-been thinking for 5yrs++ i want to work on a cruise and travel around the world-been thinking for 1yr+ i want to do marketing for an attraction-been thinking for less then a year i want to do PR for a hotel-been thinking for 5yrs++ i want to do events that are art related..-music, drama..-been thinking for 1yr++ i want to open a cafe.. a christian based cafe, whereby its evangelistic as well that is off church compound and control.. -been thinking for 4yrs++ i want to go to this country M and be a missionary there.. --been thinking for almost 5yrs i want to do SO MANY things.. which is the real dream that i'm supposed to hold on to..? am i random? i dont know.. but this post is a little bit more about the ME part.. hahaha.. i'll have to keep on praying and see where He directs me.. have to be faithful.. and obedient!! Labels: desire, dreams, future He blessed me at 2:39 AM |